One of my favorite internet pass times is FAILs. Often hilarious and timely, nothing beats a good FAIL. Until of course, it's your own. Then, somehow ... it's less amusing. Funny how that works.
Dylan and I experienced a couple of food fails as of late. Yes, I hear your gasps of shock and horror that the masterful chefs of Casa de Boswell actually experience cooking fails. I apologize for shattering our otherwise flawless image. (The sarcasm is soaking in, right? Come on, I'm not that pretentious! Alright, moving on! ^_^)
Our first fail: The Smoking Zucchinis
It was a random weekend afternoon, I had the house to myself. We had some zucchinis in the fridge that needed eating sooner than later. I recalled recipe that I had seen in a food magazine, and I wanted to try it out. After googling I found the dish I was hunting for.
I followed the directions accordingly
They were downright picturesque
I popped them into the oven then went into Dylan's office to spend more time with my beloved internet. Remember, I had the house to myself.
A few minutes letter, smelling nothing mind you - I decide to go and check on the zucchini.
The kitchen was pretty smokey. Then I opened the oven. The bottom of my zucchini's were already burnt, and the smoke was now billowing throughout the rest of the house. I had to shut everything off, open windows, turn on fans, you know the drill. It was gray smokey chaos! Had they not been burnt to a crisp on one side, those little zuch chips would have been fantastic too! Oh well, live and learn. I left myself a couple of notes on Pinterest, about how to adjust the temperature and how long to cook etc. I will tweak, and I will try again! But, then a thought occurred to me.
Perhaps the reason my oven doesn't do so hot (ZING!) at high temperatures may have something to do with the fact that it hasn't been cleaned in ??? years. That's right, I had no recollection, Dylan had no recollection. That's one dirty, dirty oven. We went ahead and put that task on the proverbial to-do list, but since we don't really cook/bake all that often, there was time.
Our second fail: Eggplant Fritters
This one came from Pinterest.
I modified a couple of things in this recipe. I know I didn't use any breadcrumbs. I put my baked-dry eggplant chips into the food processor where I knew it would get good and bindey, and I think I threw in some Parmesan cheese into the actual mix instead of just on the outside.
eh? See? They balled together nicely. The only mozzarella cheese I have on hand at any given moment is string cheese, so I figured: what the hey?
I put a couple of cheese bits into each bundle and shaped those into spheres. Then we dusted the outside with more parm and began to heat up some avocado oil on the stove top.
We had a lid on the pan full of avocado oil. We saw a little whisp of smoke escape from that lid, and we figured that must mean it's hot enough to fry. That's when we took off the lid.
I don't know what the heck science/chemistry happens when oxygen hits hot-as-hell avocado oil, but I can tell you what it produces!
SMOKE!
So, so, so very much SMOKE. Billowy white smoke instantly filled the house. Do you know what else happens? That smoke hits your lungs like some kind of pokey beast and you cough, A LOT.
I covered my face, removed the pan from the heat, and began yet again frantically opening windows and doors, turning on fans, and so forth. Little Peggy sat on the kitchen table just outside of the kitchen itself. The wall of smoke made it to her area and she began to cough.
The poor thing, she just sat there with her tongue out, hacking slowly and angrily. She was livid that whatever the hell was happening to her made her so uncomfortable. I remember calling out to her with some kind of attempt at reassurance "Oh, I know honey, it got me too!" then I swooped her up and moved her to the open screen door for some fresh air.
I snagged a shot of smoke clearing, you know, for posterity.
After clearing the house, we started another pan of oil, no lid. We monitored the temperature and had a successful fry. (What, like we were going to give up?!)
We jazzed up some basic tomato soup and turned it into tomato bisque to go with these puppies
At the end of the night, we ended up with a dinner so tasty it even surprised itself!
We also ended up with burners covered in burnt avocado oil. That was the final piece, it was finally time to clean the forever untouched oven. Brace yourselves folks, these before photos are not pretty!
Hey! I warned you.
I asked my parents for advice on what product would be best for the task at hand. They suggested the fume free Off and "lots of paper towels!"
I don't have a lot of progress photos, because 1. you wait for like 3-4 hours after spraying before you can start to clean and 2. When you start to clean, it's an ugly greasy mess and you don't want your camera anywhere near it.
I tell you what though, that off worked like something out of an infomercial! I swiped a sponge across the oven door, and as that rainbow swipe arched across - it was beautiful again! I couldn't believe it, but I kept going.
Now, bask in the loveliness of the after photos!
There you have it, kids. You can not clean your oven for ??? years and hope isn't lost! We've even baked in there since and things are going just fine! No more sad burnt chaos. Gotta love it. Sure, the burners don't look brand new - but who cares how they look! They don't smoke anymore! Gosh ... looking back we may very well have had a fire hazard on our hands. .. ... oh well, all's well that ends well, especially when you're a Boswell, bahahahah!
Alright, now, because I can't not post about Christmas in a December post, please enjoy some Christmas Themed Fails:
The gingerbread house is my favorite.
Thanks for reading my blog!
