I'm going to start this post with a question: Have you heard of The Violent Femmes?
Think about it a moment, be honest! Don't feel bad if you haven't. 9 times out of 10 people
have no idea who I'm talking about when I bring up the Femmes. Except -
you kinda do know who they are, you just never knew their name.
Case in point:
Where better to start than the beginning?
It was 1994 and I was watching an episode of Beavis and Butthead when Breakin' Up came on.
That's right, I discovered the Violent Femmes on Beavis and Butthead.
I remember the cartoon boy's commentary on the video. They were excited about what was going to happen with the bat and the cake, and they loved it when that cake got smashed. I searched
high and low for a depiction of this. It is very copyright protected,
but was able to find one tiny still of that episode
Just take my word for it - it happened.
I was hooked! Gordon Gano has that haunting, unique voice and it stayed with me. Their sound was like nothing I had heard before and I was that spongy, absorbent fall-in-love-with-everything age. It was the perfect storm! I gobbled up every cassette tape I could get my hands on, listened to them until they warped, then replaced them and started again.
I'll never forget that crappy boom box I had in the bathroom of the house I grew up in. It sat on a shelf just beside the shower, I can remember reaching out with wet hands to flip "New Times" back over to it's side A. "Don't Start me on the Liquor" was the very first song, and it was my favorite part of the entire album. In 1994 I was what? 11? The subject matter wasn't the important part, that song spoke to my soul. From there, the feeding frenzy continued. Once I became a Femmes fan, I knew I'd never be the same again. That was fine with me, life was better with this soundtrack.
Then came high school. The Violent Femmes are the perfect accompaniment to high school. Listen to me kids, you may think no one understands your angst. That it's a special kind of pain and misunderstanding that you and only you can understand. You're wrong. It happened to all of us and if you don't believe me, listen to the Violent Femmes' first album, Suddenly, you're going to start to feel pretty well understood.
All that angst was a magical backdrop for bonding and friendship, and that's when I met Manda. She's my bestie. You know her, we've visited my Manda shenanigans more than once here on the Boswell House blog. Manda and Corn originated in the late 90's and we've been pretty much inseparable ever since. We should have a T-shirt! est 1998, hah! Manda recalls when I brought the Violent Femmes marching feverishly into the cassette deck of her 1996 white Nissan Sentra. It happened via mix tape. We swapped mix tapes all the time, me introducing her to some more of Green Day's catalog, she making me more of a Beck fan, both of us enjoying Guttermouth with gusto. But when it came to the Femmes, it was epic. The Femmes made us giddy, and I'm not going to lie, they still do.
Our combined joy of the Femmes rivals only that of Doug and Skeeter playing
air guitar to The Beets. In fact, to this day, when we speak excitedly of
the Violent Femmes - we call them "THE BEETS!"
Same with the Femmes buddy, I feel you. *bumps fist to chest*
With almost 20 years of Femmes fandom under my belt and a best friend who loves them just as much as I do, it's not hard to imagine they hold a large and very special place in my life. I am proud to say I've never missed an opportunity to see these guys play live. In my younger years, I actually kept a scrap book of concerts I had gone to. Check it out:
I know I'm supposed to say that I'll never forget the first time I saw the Violent Femmes - but I can't say for sure that 1999 was my very first femmes first show. But I know I remember this show! It was great! At the end (after 1 or 2 encores of course!) they shot out these long pieces of red paper strands from some kind of paper strand cannon. It was everywhere, it was majestic. Honestly, it's one of those cliche slow-motion-moment-memories in my mind. This is the piece I kept in my scrap book, but I had a longer piece that I attached to my bookshelf and that's where it stayed until I moved out of my parents house. For all I know, that strand of paper is still packed away in a box somewhere. I kinda hope it is.
These next 2 stubs are from my adult life, still arm in arm with Manda shouting "THE BEETS!" on our way into the venues. But that October 16th show was special. Very special. Manda and I were/are no stranger in the art of "how to meet the band." Do you want to know the secret? You wait. Wait longer than most people have patience for, find the tour bus, and then keep waiting.
When the show ended that October night in 2004 we did exactly as we always did. We found that tour bus and we hunkered down for a long stay. There was only one other person waiting there with us, a nice young man who said one of his buddies was hired to tour with "this band" as one of the backup musicians. He was only interested in saying hello to his childhood friend, so he was happy to wait by the bus for his friend to come out. He pulled a backstage pass from his pocket and said "do you guys want this?" Of course we did! We tried to play gracious for a second or two before we snatched that pass, thanked the fella profusely and sprinted back into the building.
A very helpful and friendly security guard let 2 girls in with 1 pass, thwarting another guard who tried to stop us for only having one pass. Our security guardian angel led us to the band, and then - we met the Violent Femmes. Rock gods. Heroes of mine were right there, in the room with me, interacting with me! Gordon Gano made a joke, a joke! As if a rock god had to bother to try and impress us! It was adorable and awkward in classic Gordon Gano fashion. He asked "did you just get here?" and we answered at the same time, mumbly with varying levels of squeaks in our voices trying to explain ourselves for daring to be late to meeting our idols back stage. To which he raised his eyebrows slowly, closed his eyes, shrugged his shoulders and said "ya missed the show." I believe we were silent for a moment before it registered that Gordon Gano just told a joke, for us, directly to us. Did that just happen?! We caught him just as he was leaving, kind enough to indulge us for some autographs and then be on his way.
That's when we made our way through the room, stopping to say hello to Victor DeLorenzo and snagging his autograph. He sat cross legged on a couch with a few other fans and chatted with them for most of the night. We made it over to Brian Ritchie where we stood and spoke for a minute, and eventually made it to sitting down at a dining room style table in that room. Manda remembers this conversation meticulously, Brian cracking jokes about "having a short guy in the band." We talked politics, a little Bush-Bashing (which was the style at the time) we even discussed telemarketers! Brian Ritchie told us he'd just answer the phone and yell "This is Satan!" at them to see what their response was. There we sat, with another rock legend and he decided to sit down with us and shoot the shit like we were all just a bunch of old buddies!
How did we get so lucky?!
This would be a fine place to end this story, but I already told you - this is a 20 year long relationship. We've only breached 2004! Besides, there's a modern portion of the tale too, you just have to wait for me to get there. Moving on!
The 2nd ticket stub you saw below our epic October 2004 souvenir, the show at the Rialto in January - That was January 28th 2006. Manda and I made our way right up to the font row and had a great view of the band
At this show, magic repeated itself. If I didn't have Manda as a witness, I wouldn't blame you for a second for not believing the story I am about to tell you - but every word of it is 100% true.
During the performance, Brian Ritchie happened to glance down at the crowd, and spotted us. He focused in on us, making an almost confused face, concentrating on us as if to say "...I know them from somewhere..." It felt like an eternity even though I'm sure in reality he concentrated on us for less than a minute - who cares! Brian Ritchie recognized us!! We flipped our shit accordingly and enjoyed the rest of that show, I can't tell you what we did after. We may or may not have gone to wait at the bus, but that doesn't matter because Brian Ritchie recognized us that night!!!
We saw them once more, in December of 2006 back at the Rialto Theater. The femmes toured the rest of the country and all over the world until sometime in 2007 or 2008 when they sued each other over a Wendy's commercial.While they never officially broke up, they were officially "disbanded" leaving Manda and I officially crushed.
Sure, a few years passed but then, more magic happened. In 2013 there were rumblings about show dates that included the Violent Femmes on festival lineups. And in 2014, with a new drummer, they announced that they were - officially - a band again. They signed on for the Summer Ends Music Festival in Tempe, playing the 3rd day of a 3 day weekend festival. Manda and I had our tickets for this gig the moment we heard about it! When it came time for the festival, day 1 went off without a hitch. Then came Saturday, and with Saturday came some monsoon storms the likes of which Phoenix and Tempe had never seen. "Rain or shine" couldn't compete with what mother nature had in store.
Luckyman, the group who set up the festival, are the epitome of professional. Forced to vacate Tempe Beach Park, they set up shop in their much smaller venue in Tempe, the Marquee. They had to scramble, and some fans did leave on Saturday out of frustration, but by the end of the night, most of the bands scheduled to play the festival on Saturday played, and everyone who stuck it out did make it into the Marquee theater to see those bands. Come Sunday, they were well equipped to handle the influx of people and when I called to ask if we would make it in to see the Femmes the staff on the phone were helpful and pleasant, even in the face of being inundated with angry questions.
We walked right into the Marquee on Sunday, no waiting in line. We purchased some Femmes swag and then edged our way up to the front. Classic Manda and Corn at a Femmes show.
I reacted so intensely, so instinctively, it was like I was possessed. Only with happy daemons instead of bad ones. For a minute there, I almost got emotional before I yelled at myself to snap out of that and continue feeling happy. Why waste such a good feeling? They don't always hang around forever.
Thanks for indulging me on this post. Maybe you've learned a little more about me, but even better, maybe you learned a little more about this amazing band. Take my word for it, they'll change your life.
